The Cost of Freedom

You cannot know what Luke 14 means unless you have lived it out.

²⁵ Now great crowds accompanied him, and he turned and said to them, ²⁶ “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.

I have pondered over the phrase, “hate… even his own life”, and it’s true for me. As a child, I was too young to understand the implications and the motivations behind destructive behavior. Now, having paid thousands of dollars to healing ministries to attend their seminars and buy their materials, having flown thousands of miles to learn, even staying six months in the UK in the process, I have a much better understanding. And I got a lot of healing along the way.

²⁷ Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.

I contrast this with Matthew 11:

²⁸ Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

I have learned over the years to release my burdens to the Lord and to receive His rest. That cross, just as it was for Jesus, was something that was put on me by others. At first, we trudge after Jesus with it. But as time goes on, as we mature in Christ, as we learn to transfer the weight of the cross to Him, it shrinks. And it becomes something that is light and easy — only what Jesus wants you to carry.

²⁸ For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? ²⁹ Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, ³⁰ saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’

³¹ Or what king, going out to encounter another king in war, will not sit down first and deliberate whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand? ³² And if not, while the other is yet a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks for terms of peace.

Following Jesus is a life-long journey with many ups and downs and detours. Many give up along the way and make peace with the enemy because in their mind, it costs too much to follow Jesus — whether it’s time, money or more likely, having to risk trusting someone, a minister you don’t really know with a fragile piece of your heart.

It takes courage to risk; I have been misunderstood, judged and talked down to by a minister who failed to see their own issues. But I picked myself up and went on. Why? Because I know that I too can make mistakes, and because I want to be forgiven, I forgive them too. And I moved on to others.

And in the process, I have come to know people that are on fire for the Lord, people I wouldn’t have imagined meeting in my wildest dreams — not perfect, but who are on a journey and are willing to face their own issues and apologise when they’re in the wrong — and who forgive me too, when I inadvertently hurt them. And with sincere apologies, the relationship is restored as before. That’s how healed they are.

 ³³ In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples.

We have to give up everything we’re holding — our pride, suspicions, cynicism, unbelief, our fears, our money, our past bad experiences — and start taking risks.

I have found that when I risk something for Jesus, do something that I know is helpful for me even though I’m afraid to try it, the rewards are great. Words fail to describe it.

Photo by Johannes Plenio on Unsplash

The God of Small Things

Today, I decided to fix the bathroom sink that had started to drain s-l-o-w-l-y. So, assured by Mr Google that it’s easy, I proceeded to unscrew Top A from Middle B, took out Screw C and cleaned out the gunk that hadn’t been flushed down the pipe but rather, had accumulated over two years.

Then, it was time to put A,B,C back together. First, I had to put Screw C in the right place. I tried to put it on top of Nail D. Nope, didn’t work despite all the wiggling. I was desperate. “I’ve messed up”, I thought. I may need to call the plumber.

Then, God dropped a picture in my brain which disappeared as fast as it arrived. But I got it.

I had to put the loop in Screw C through Nail D that was sticking out a few inches down the pipe. That accomplished, Middle B had to go through C, which was tricky as C wasn’t stable. I said, “I need some help, Lord”. Immediately, B went through C. And then putting A on top of B was easy-peasy.

The God of Detail that does not forget five sparrows that are sold, that numbers the very hairs on our head, is also interested in helping one of his children fix the bathroom sink.

Selah.

Image by WarrenMae Investment Group from Pixabay

A New Season Starts

Dear Readers

Thank you for following this blog. You may notice I haven’t written for over a month, and that’s because a new, busy season has started — just when I thought it was time to take it easy and ease into retirement!

I am learning and practicing the basics of HeartSync Ministries, an approach that targets the healing of the parts of the heart, which complements what I have already been doing for a number of years, which is learning how to heal the wounded human spirit as we deal with the enemy of our souls.

The HeartSync Basic course ends mid-July, after which an Intermediate course starts. It’s an adventure which the Lord has led me to, after a series of divine coincidences and I’m enjoying it!

For those who are looking for ministry sessions, Yes, I’m still making time for this even as I’m continuing with the Basic course.

In the meantime, I will continue to blog, but on an ad hoc basis.

Keep well, and God bless you!

Kathlyn

The Forest Speaks, Is Anyone Listening?

The people hiking through the MacRitchie trails for recreation often bring their problems with them. What an irony. Chatting loudly as they walk past, one can’t help but overhear their worries about their job, their colleague, their boss, etc. One man used his mobile to talk business in Mandarin to his colleague in China!

Others walk alone, but with grim faces, determined to complete their 10,000 steps or whatever goal they’ve set for themselves.

Except for a few pockets here and there, there is little joy in the groups I’ve come across. And fewer still pause to admire the beauty in the forest.

I prefer to walk to a different drummer, and let the forest speak, recording my experience in photographs if possible. Here are a few shots I’ve taken:

Stairway to heaven

“Peace, be still.”

“Fish of every kind” — a big, beautiful black one swims placidly in the shallows

“The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places” (Psalm 16:6)
How long did it take for this tree to have such beautiful lines?

May we pause long enough to hear what the forest is saying.

The Draw of Silence

So one of my readers asked, “What is the draw of the silence?

The silent gaze of the One who loves you conveys tenderness, understanding, compassion and so much more.

It’s pretty tangible, just as if He is standing or sitting beside you, enjoying your company, even as you enjoy His.

This cannot be imagined. It can only be experienced.

Sometimes, He speaks; and whatever He says will come to pass.

Most times, I am content just to know He is there.

Many are uncomfortable with silence and that is a pity, for God is often found in quietness. His Spirit calls to our spirit; His Deep calls to our deep.

And when we respond, He rewards us with His unwavering attention.

Each silence has its own innate quality; some silences have the essence of peace; some convey strength; others, understanding. Each silence is different. But Love is embedded in every aspect of the silences of God. That is how we know the silences are of Him.

And my reader asks, “What is the purpose?”

I have no purpose except to enjoy being with the One who loves me.

MacRitchie Reservoir, Singapore

Deep diving with Jesus

The deeper one dives in the spirit, the quieter the inner waters become; I am alone, and yet not alone for His presence is always with me. The deeper we dive, the more silent it becomes — the more silent we become.

The world and its demands fade away as I sink immeasurably down into the depths, allowing the silence to draw me like gravity. But I do not live in a vacuum. Occasionally, the cacophony outside insists on my attention and with a sigh I cut loose, surface and deal with it; and then I turn and dive again, into the deep, deep waters of the Spirit who dwells in silence.

His silence is intimate, yet non-intrusive. He is present, calm and assuring. He gives me a sense of the eternity where He lives, where time has no beginning or end. In fact, He is Eternity.

So I dive deeper down into the depths of silence where it’s quiet, not even a ripple, but teems with life.

MacRitchie Reservoir, Singapore

The Path Less Travelled

CREATION FRIDAY

The Prunus Trail is a shady boardwalk along MacRitchie Reservoir. The majority start the one-hour trek here, walking clockwise to the Petai Trail, then turning right, down a hardened clay and stone path through the cool forest into dazzling sunshine.

One day, I decided to walk anti-clockwise, climbing up the well-trodden clay path and then turning left at the Petai Trail.

Asiatic softshell turtle, native to Singapore, an uncommon species

I saw much more that day.

When Perception isn’t Reality

WEDNESDAY’S WORD

“Perception is everything,” a former boss used to say frequently and quite fervently. I knew something was on his mind, but I didn’t ask. Then I noticed it playing out in my life.

The meaning of this quote, for those of you who are a little behind here, is that what people perceive to be their reality is, in fact, their own reality.

askthemanager.com

What people perceive is actually their own reality. The issue is, they play out their “reality “on me, which has resulted in hurts and drama. Then, I had to adjust my own perception — the people whom I thought were mature and objective were not. They were acting out their presuppositions on me.

What they thought was me, wasn’t me. But they thought it was. And what could have been a rational conversation to sort out an issue became… Well, you can let your imagination run riot here…

Time and time again, it happened.

It became clear that no matter what others thought, I had to practice being precise about what I was thinking and believing, and to articulate it to them.

This is what Jesus wants. He wants us to clarify wrong perceptions. When we find out someone is offended over a perceived slight, we could take a moment to talk it out with them; conversely, when we are aggravated by what we think is a slight from another, we can initiate the conversation with a view to reconciliation.

These conversations can hopefully, result in an alignment of perception and we can move forward.

And what if these conversations don’t resolve anything?

Well, what I’ve found is that God isn’t in unreality.

Living in unreality results in a lot of hurt and drama.

I prefer to be where God is.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. –Phil 4:8

Addendum: A reader asked me, “What if there isn’t trust?” My answer is, ask God to prepare all parties’ hearts and minds, to arrange a time and a place for the mutual conversation to take place. And then, let it go, forget it, stop chewing on it. It has become His responsibility; let Him handle the details.

Go on with the rest of your life.

When the time is right, you will meet and the conviction of the Spirit will be there.

When God Sends His Friends

There are good friends, and there are God-friends. We hang out with good friends as there are mutual interests, mutual support, we have fun and we look forward to meeting again.

And, there are God-friends. They are there for a season, perhaps for life, but a few things make them stand out.

They “get” you. You don’t have to explain yourself — they already believe in you. They’re in your corner.

They’re like you, yet very unlike you. They’ve been through stuff you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy and they’ve come out with a spiritual stature that people recognize and flock to. And when they see you, there’s a connection. They know, they understand — instinctively they know you; they’re on your side and they’ll fight for you. And you don’t even have to ask.

Those are God-friends.

When I reached 40, I started having God-friends. In the bible, 40 and multiples thereof are spiritually significant. That was the season God-friends started to come one after another — those He has assigned to walk beside me through tough times because He knew I was totally unprepared for them.

My God-friends guided me when I was in confusion; they outlined a strategy to handle the mess I inherited while they trained me to tackle the person behind it. They ensured my rights were respected when the majority wanted to push the issue under the carpet; when my enemies were speaking crookedly, they spoke up to set the record straight and silenced them. When I was in crisis, they made time for me and used their skills to heal me.

God-friends know my heart, they believe in me and stand up for me.

They are answers to years of prayer.

Perhaps He needs the time to prepare them for me, and me for them. Whatever the reason, they are the God-friends I need, and He sends them to light up the path before me.

God is faithful, and He sends good and faithful friends.

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(Picture taken at the MacRitchie Reservoir, Singapore)

A Season of Quiet

I have been cutting down from social media activities since the beginning of this month, and it has led to an increasingly greater quietness within. I don’t know how long this season will last — the last time God led me into this, it was for 10 years — but I’m enjoying it. I wonder if this is a little of how the saints of old felt when they retreated into the cells of their monasteries or into their caves to seek Him.

“A little” as I’m not living the ascetic lifestyle they lived, but as I cut down on my activities, I become more aware of how social media saps our soul and distracts us from ourselves. Conversely, as we step away from all the noise, we become aware of the inner stirrings of our heart and so can tend to them; as we tend to them, a greater wholeness and quietness settles within.

Most people I know live in frantic interaction with others and pay scant attention to their own selves, and it’s to their loss. Frankly, I think many people don’t want to look at what’s in their heart. But as we do, as we pay attention and tend to our own heart, the reward is peace and quiet within and a greater awareness of the presence of God.

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” (Matthew 5:8, ESV)

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(Picture was taken at the Learning Forest, Singapore Botanic Gardens).